Just another post about astrid
I am not sure if you knew that Astrid, my assistant for eleven years was, my mother.
She fell walking the dogs early on March 9. (She was up at 4 am and walking at 5 am always). Upon return she had a black eye, but she told me how many fingers I held up- she told me her name, our address, the date, and other facts. She refused to go to the doctor when I insisted. This was her life policy. She believed in eating broccoli and staying out of the doctor’s office even though I had insurance for her.
Later in the morning she began to speak nonsense and I called 911. A CT scan revealed extensive bleeding on the left side of the brain. She had emergency brain surgery and the next day the neurologist told Anouk, my sixteen year old, and I that if she lived, she would have to breath and eat through a tube, would have no sight, memory or speech and have paralysis on the right side.
Her brother, sister in law, my cousins and my children and I decided on Saturday that mom would hate such a life. On Monday March 12 we withdrew life support. Mom breathed on her own for 25 hours, nine of which I was at her bedside. She died at 12:55 on March 13.
The last nine days have been a blur with a flurry of calls from the nurses, doctors, hospital, coroner (because the death was an accident), crematorium and church – and of course her nephews, sister-in law and brother.
She leaves two major holes in my life. We walked dogs daily. We ate together nightly by candlelight and we were friends and housemates. She was also my assistant.
Her position at the office is being replaced by Tyece Shaw, a paralegal who worked for me for several years around 2007-2009 – she left at the time for marriage and child care reasons. She starts tomorrow.
Mom’s position in my life is irreplaceable.
I have remained working and attended court hearings. Two difficult hearings I have continued. My mom would have said, Tristan, you must carry on. In fact I hear her say that. In love and respect.
Earl Spencer made a speech at Diana’s funeral which I have adjusted a little here, but it seems appropriate: I would like to end by thanking God for the small mercies He has shown us at this dreadful time. For taking Astrid at her most beautiful and radiant and when she had joy in her private life. Above all we give thanks for the life of a woman I am so proud to be able to call my mother, the unique, the complex, the extraordinary and irreplaceable Astrid whose beauty, both internal and external, will never be extinguished from our minds.
She shall be cremated this week. A service at her church, St. Patricks Episcopal in Thousand Oaks (near the library) will be held on April 14 at 10 AM. The church is apparently so full until then because of Easter and holy week. It is a public funeral. If you wish to pay your respects, please be a guest. t
